TIME WASTERS

[Boobalicious]

Time Wasters .....
Just lately the rise in time wasters has gotten worse. I would estimate that only 1 in 20 people who call me actually book and show up for an appointment. Which means that the other 19 are time wasters, wankers, idiots and people who just havent got a clue. Ive been in the business for 11 years now and guys must think im stupid when they think that i dont know when i get the following calls ...


Client: How much for quick blowjob/titwank babe?
Me: Sorry?!
Client: How much would you charge for a quick blowjob/titwank?
Me: I wouldn't do that!
Client: Oh right why not
Me: Because it takes me an hour to get ready for you and then probably half an hour to clean up after you and i wouldnt do all that for something like £30!!
DELUDED IDIOT

Client: Alright sexy, how are you?
Me: Yes fine thanks what can i do for you?
Client: Hello?
Me: Yes?
Client: What you doing?
Me: Right now, I'm talking to you
Client: Cool cool. What you wearing?
Me: *long sigh and disconnects call*
TIME WASTER

Client: Hello darling, is this Abbie
Me: Yes, that's me, what can I do for you?
Client: How much just to lick your feet/blowjob/handjob
Me: My rates are on my profile, you pay for my time. How you choose to use that time is up to you.
Client: But I cum really quick, come on darling, do me a good rate? Can't you set your price for that 1 thing?
Me: Mate, I think you're confusing me for a street prostitute.
ANOTHER DELUDED IDIOT

Client: Hello, I want phonesex
Me: You need to book a session through the site with someone who does that then.
Client: I'm not a member. Is there another way I could pay you? Maybe topping up your phone?
Me: Sorry darling, I dont do phone sex.
Client: Oh, so you don't need the money. Can't you just do it for free? I'm sure I could make you cum over the phone, I'd tell you how bad I wanna lick your pussy!
Me: *rolls eyes* I'm not interested!
Client: But I really wanna spunk in your mouth
Me: And i really want to just chat with my girlfriend instead.
WANKER!

Client text: Hey babe, you working today? If so, text back
My text: I don't take bookings by text, you need to ring me to discuss
Client text: Can't chat right now. Text me your address
My text: If you're too stupid to follow instructions, I don't want to meet you
Client text: Lol, I'm not stupid, ain't got any free minutes, could you call me?
My text: If you can't afford to call me, you can't afford to see me! Now f**k off!
SKINT TIMEWASTER

Client: Hi darling, I got your number off AdultWork. Was wondering if you could tell me what services you provide and what your rates are
Me: (long pause) ... Well, all of the details are on the profile
Client: Yeah, I know, but I'm not near a computer, I took your number down earlier
Me: I'm sorry but I'm not going to waste my time explaining something you can find out yourself or is clearly written on my profile
Client: OK, what do you look like?
Me: Stop wasting my time asking these stupid questions, I'm not having this conversation with you. Get off my line!
TIME WASTER!

Client: Hi, how much for half hour?
Me: £100
Client: Are you worth £100?
Me: (long pause)... Isn't that a redundant question? You're asking me if I'm worth the money I'm asking for?
ANOTHER TIME WASTER

Client: Hello Abbie, I would like to book a meet with you tomorrow at 2 for 1 hour.
Me: That's fine, just give me a call around 1 to confirm that you're still coming?
Client: Great! I understand fron your profile, you can dress as a Nurse Could you do that during our meet?
Me: Not a problem
Client: Good. Also, could you wear a Garter
Me: Sure, I have a Garter available
Client: With earrings and bangles?
Me: No, jewellry gets in the way, sorry.
Client: Could you also wear a headscarf?
Me: I guess so...
Client: And under your Nurse Outfit, I want you to wear sexy stockings with heels
Me: Darling, you're asking for quite a lot, it would take me 20 minutes to get ready for you!
FUSSY BASTARD!

Client: Hi Abbie, I want to book you, you are very sexy
Me: Thank you! When did you want to meet?
Client: I'm driving from London and will be in Birmingham by 12. I really can't wait to f**k your pussy.
Me: Ok, we can talk about all of that during our session. Call me when you're local, ok?
Client: I can't wait to get my cock in your mouth!
Call disconnected. Client makes several attempts to call again for several hours. Eventually I answer.
Me: Are you going to speak to me properly now?
Client: I always speak to you properly!
Me: No, you were being very crude earlier. If you want to talk dirty, you can book a phonechat session, otherwise, behave yourself.
USUALLY A TIME WASTER

Client: Hi, can you tell me where the best hotel is in Derby?
Me: I'm not 118, find out yourself
Client: Just give me the phone number of one you recommend? I'm not from Derby. Please?
Me: (I start giving a few names of hotels, then stop as I hear a lot of heavy breathing) Are you wanking?!
Client: Er, no. I'm listening to you, keep talking
Me: OMG, you're getting turned on listening to me giving you directions?!
TIME WASTER

Client: Hi i got your number off a mate can you describe yourself
Me: Well ask your mate what i look like if he recommended me
Client: Well how much do you charge an hour
Me: Let me give you my website so you can go and take a look for yourself
Client: I dont have internet access
Me: Try an Internet Cafe
Client: Please babe i dont know any just tell me in details what your like
Me: Look im not going through all this on the phone if your so interested make the effort to find out thats what my website and profiles are for.
TIME WASTER


Come on guys stop messing us girls about. Do the decent thing and actually be a nice guy. Sometimes you dont realise how we move things around to accomodate you, only to find that you forgot about your appointment with us or you cancel at the last minute and think its ok to do so. Imagine if you go into work today and your boss tells you when you got there "err sorry i forgot you were coming into today we wont be needing you" Its just not good human nature.

[thehornyhighlander]

Awh, sorry to hear that. Some guys can just be complete idiots. 

[Caveman]

sorry to hear that Abbie

but some cancellations ARE genuine

I know as I've had to make cancellations before myself

[sammy-jo-essex]

People that call you at 06:38 in the morning for no reason get on my nerves, dont they think you could be sleeping 

Wouldnt be so bad if they apologized

Sammy Jo x x x

[Boobalicious]

People that call you at 06:38 in the morning for no reason get on my nerves, dont they think you could be sleeping 

Wouldnt be so bad if they apologized

Sammy Jo x x x

I always think to myself if people call at like 2/3am its the drunks and when people call at like 4/5am its the druggies!!! 

[Boobalicious]

sorry to hear that Abbie

but some cancellations ARE genuine

I know as I've had to make cancellations before myself

Yes but your not a timewaster and anyone that knows you knows this but the bad ones spoil it for the good guys.  Us girls we know the genuine ones.  All the stories we get about why guys cant make it, i could write a book on. 

[sammy-jo-essex]

Or the people who just feel the need to jerk off down the phone to someone!

Sammy Jo x x x

[Mystique46M]

People that call you at 06:38 in the morning for no reason get on my nerves, dont they think you could be sleeping 

Wouldnt be so bad if they apologized

Sammy Jo x x x

I always think to myself if people call at like 2/3am its the drunks and when people call at like 4/5am its the druggies!!! 

So by 06.38, it must be the drunken druggies ringing, eh??!!

[Mystique46M]

Classic t'other day.....

Myself and Nicole in Leeds, phone rings, I answer it, all
friendly like, man asks about services, I explain, and then
advise him that neither lady does anal.
He said 'okay but do the ladies take it up the backside'....

[Curvy Crumpet]

I think these idiots must buy a handbook on how to be a t**t they all seem to use the same chat up lines

[Boobalicious]

Just had another by text ...

Him: Hi Abbie i know your not in Cambridge but i dont have internet access and wondered if there was anyone in this area that you knew?
Me: Im not bloody 118/247 directory enquiries.

I wouldnt mind but i dont even know him.

[sammy-jo-essex]

I had that almost word for word text !

Did the number end in 7186

Sammy Jo x x x

[Boobalicious]

I had that almost word for word text !

Did the number end in 7186

Sammy Jo x x x

No 4271

And another text just came saying "Hi are you in Derby"  Well yes cos im ABBIE OF DERBY and it clearly states thats where im from in all my ads and on my website.  Im not advertising myself as being on tour anywhere.  So yes i am in Derby ffs!!! 

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

[sammy-jo-essex]

Mine asked if i knew any bbws in West London

Why oh why do people waste their money with stupid texts, i never reply to texts anyway from anyone

Sammy Jo x x x

[shiwarrior]

yep they are all timewasters

[Boobalicious]

Latest one ...

Me: Hello Abbie speaking
Guy: Hi Abbie, i noticed from your webswite that tour London quite a bit and wondered if you could recommend me some hotels in London
Me: Errrm do i know you, have we met before?
Guy: No i just knew that you go to London and thought id ring and ask your advice
Me: Right so let me get this right, we dont know each other, weve never even spoken before and youve rang me for advice on London hotels?
Guy: Yes babe
Me: Are you taking the piss like? Do one!!
I HANG UP!!

[Curvy Crumpet]

Latest one ...

Me: Hello Abbie speaking
Guy: Hi Abbie, i noticed from your webswite that tour London quite a bit and wondered if you could recommend me some hotels in London
Me: Errrm do i know you, have we met before?
Guy: No i just knew that you go to London and thought id ring and ask your advice
Me: Right so let me get this right, we dont know each other, weve never even spoken before and youve rang me for advice on London hotels?
Guy: Yes babe
Me: Are you taking the piss like? Do one!!
I HANG UP!!

Abbie just put the phone down on them and ignore their texts - i take the stance "if they want to act like an idiot, I will treat them like an idiot".

[Boobalicious]

Latest one ...

Me: Hello Abbie speaking
Guy: Hi Abbie, i noticed from your webswite that tour London quite a bit and wondered if you could recommend me some hotels in London
Me: Errrm do i know you, have we met before?
Guy: No i just knew that you go to London and thought id ring and ask your advice
Me: Right so let me get this right, we dont know each other, weve never even spoken before and youve rang me for advice on London hotels?
Guy: Yes babe
Me: Are you taking the piss like? Do one!!
I HANG UP!!

Abbie just put the phone down on them and ignore their texts - i take the stance "if they want to act like an idiot, I will treat them like an idiot".

Well yeah i do but sometimes when im in the mood i love playing games with them, cos im naughty like that.  Ive put male friends on before and he has spoken to them pretending "yes im abbie" im in stitches. 

[Caveman]

we like you being in the mood

xxx